My mother was born on May 6th, 1938. My grandparents, Wilhelm & Marguerite Tandler were married June 26, 1926 in Aussig, Sudetenland (now known as the Czech Republic). My grandfather Wilhelm was a carpenter by trade.
Wilhelm's parents, Theodore & Anna Tandler had had 2 daughters that died when they were young, before he was born. For years it was believed that there was a curse in the family associated with music. Both daughters died of some type of choking incident while Theodore was playing music away from home. After the second daughter died, he gave up music forever. I was told that the curse skipped every other generation, meaning my grandfather Wilhelm could play but my mother could not. It would be okay for me to play but my children could not, etc. Theodore suffered a severe head injury in a railroad accident and died a year later leaving Anna to care for 2 year old Wilhelm. Anna remarried and she and her husband, Opa Peck had 2 sons, Curt & Erwin. (Oma & Opa is German for Grandma and Grandpa. Omi & Opi is less formal).
(My Great Grandparents, Oma & Opa Novakova.)
My grandmother, Marguerite was one of 15 children born to her parents, Franz and Barbra Novakova. She was one of the middle children and witnessed some of her younger siblings die while they were still small.
(My Omi & Opi, Wilhelm & Marguerite Tandler on their Wedding Day.)
When Wilhelm & Marguerite married, they joined other family members in purchasing a home in Eichwald. Inside were 4 "apartments" and an agreement was made that the 4 couples would all work together refurbishing the house. When it came time to work on my grandparents apartment, the others wanted to be compensated for their work. A family feud erupted and my grandparents quietly and secretively, sold their interest in the house to strangers.
(The house in Eichwald.)
They had friends that had moved to Buenos Aries,Argentina so they made the decision to move there themselves in 1928. Not long after their arrival to South America, their son Eric was born. When he was only 2 weeks old, he became ill and in route home from the doctor's office on the streetcar, he died in my grandmother's arms. Four years before my mother was born, another child, this time a girl was born. She too died shortly after she was born. In 1938, Wilhelm & Marguerite's only surviving child was born, my mother Helga. Marguerite was 37 and Wilhelm was 42.
(Omi & Opi with my "Mutti", Buenes Aries, 1938.)
After being gone from family for more than 11 years, they made the decision to move back home to the Sudetenland. They boarded a ship in 1939 and set sail across the ocean, homeward bound. If they had had any inkling that Hitler would wage a world war first invading Poland and then turning his eyes towards Sudentland, they might have reconsidered their decision! They purchased a home in Aussig and put all their assets in my mother's name in case there was a civil lawsuit due to the family feud fiasco in 1928.
(On board their ship sailing back to Europe, 1939. My mother is wearing a bonnet and is to the upper right of the porthole.)
My mother grew up in Aussig with Opa Peck & Oma Anna living in nearby Teplitz. (A link for Teplitz is
here.)My mother remembers going to their house and playing with Uncle Curt. As Hitler marched across Europe, Uncle Curt was drafted into the German Army. He was shot and killed in Holland in the last days of the war by a sniper. Uncle Erwin had been sent to an extermination camp before their return from South America because he was slow and mildly retarded. Although he lived with his parents, he worked a job and took care of himself. Unfortunately Hitler didn't believe that someone like him could be a productive, contributing member of society so he wasn't allowed to live.
My mom told me how once when she was a little girl at school, the air raid sirens went off. School was dismissed early and as she ran towards her home, she watched the bombers fly overhead and drop their bombs on Teplitz where there were several factories. Oma Anna had passed away by then and because Opa Peck's home was damaged, he came to live with them.
My grandfather was too old to serve in the regular German Army like his much younger brother Curt, so instead he was drafted into the "home guard". On May 6th, 1945, my Mother's 7th birthday she and my grandmother baked a cake and boarded a streetcar in order to see my grandfather and to celebrate my Mother's birthday. While waiting to transfer to a second streetcar, they heard that Germany had surrendered. Instead of being jubilant, they were filled with terror because the Russian Army was bearing down on their town. They immediately headed back home.
When word got to my Grandfather that the Russians were coming and would occupy Aussig and Teplitz, he was filled with fear. Being in a German uniform, reluctantly I might add, he knew that the Russians would shoot him on sight or at the very least, send him to a POW camp. He ran from his post and through the woods headed for home. When he got there, he stripped off the uniform and my grandmother took it back to the woods and buried it. She returned to their house just ahead of the first Russian troops.
As the troops entered the town they went into private homes and began looting, stomping feather beds, urinating wherever they pleased and generally "acting like animals" to quote my grandmother. Reaching my grandparents home, 3 soldiers announced they would be taking up residence there and would be back later, with more troops. My grandmother took my mother and hid in the basement behind some shelving that my grandfather had built. (For a first hand account of what happened in Aussig, click on this
link)
In the morning, expecting to find their home in shambles she and my mother were in shock to see that everything was fine. (The first of many Divine interventions). My grandfather told her that after she had left, an officer came to their house. The Lieutenant went inside, looked around and said that he would like to stay there because it would make suitable headquarters for him and his staff. While looking through the house, he saw a photo of my mother and grandmother and asked where they were. My Grandfather lied and said they were sick and at the hospital. The officer told him that if he had thought that he had had a family, he wouldn't have commandeered their house. Sensing that this was actually a decent man, Opi quickly realized the advantages of having this man stay in their home and how it might afford them some protection against the less disciplined troops roaming the streets.
(The photo of Omi & Mutti that the Russian Officer saw.)
They were allowed to "live" in their bedroom (Omi & Opi, my mom and Opi's stepfather, Opa Peck). They were required to cook, clean and do laundry for the Lieutenant and his aides. One of the aides, my mother said was only 17 or 18 and would actually "play" with her because she reminded him of his younger sister back home in Russia. Despite the presence of the officer, (he couldn't be at the house 24/7), some of the soldiers would still get drunk and become verbal. During those times, my Omi feared being raped so she would take my mother and herself to one of her hiding places, leaving Opi and Opa Peck to bear the brunt of the workload. The lady who lived downstairs was raped by soldiers and never seen again. My Omi was fluent in Russian, Czech, German as well as Spanish!
After 2 weeks of Russian occupation, the army was on the move again. The next year would see their return as well as a return to occupation. The people were given a choice, stay or leave. Remembering what they had been through, they decided to leave. Opa Peck had passed away by then so Omi & Opi took whatever they could carry. Having been told that their exile would be 2 years at the most, Omi hid the more valuable stuff and buried the rest. My mother carried one toy with her- a doll which she has to this day, "URSULA".
(Mutti with Ursula.)
They boarded, what turned out to be the last train, settling refugees in West Germany. Everyone else and most of their family were shipped to East Germany! They never saw their home again since Communism wouldn't collapse until 1990!Another Divine intervention! Omi's sister, Aunt Hilda was sent to a Russian work camp where she nearly lost her feet to frostbite.She was eventually released and was somehow able to make her way out of East Germany.
(Tante Hilda, Karlsbad 1937.)
My mother said things were actually worse after the war; there was never enough to eat, many times begging for food and many times going hungry. Post-war Germany was a rough place to live! My mother's exposure to the American GI's convinced her that she would one day live in America.
(Never enough to eat, surviving. My Mother's 1st Communion, 1948.)
(My mother's 9th Birthday. She is wearing a long sleeved sweater that my Omi knitted for her.)
(A couple of years later when my Mother grew to big for the sweater, Omi unraveled it and knitted her a short sleeved sweater!)
Eventually, things began to get better.
(My Mutti at age 14.)
(My father James McConnell, US Army, Fort Hood, Texas 1958).My father James was a young man from Missouri, stationed in Friedberg Germany with the Army when he met my mother in 1959.
(My parents dancing the night away!)
She and her parents were living in Grabenheim when my parents eventually married. My father actually knew Elvis and my mother worked at a store off the base where he would come in and purchase gifts for family & friends back home.My father finished his tour of duty in August of 1960 and I was born just 3 weeks after he brought my mother to America!
(James & Helga on their Wedding Day.)
My parents divorced when I was only 6 and as children, we don't truly appreciate our parents when we're young. My mother is one of the most amazing, strong and courageous women on the planet! I can't even imagine how hard it was to be a single mom in the 1960's, being shunned by the Catholic church and living a half a world away from your only family! True, she is an immigrant to this country but unlike many of today's immigrants, she didn't expect a handout. It makes her angry to see today's immigrants and their attitudes, it disrespects her and America as well. Never in her wildest dreams would she have come to this country, not even knowing the language! She worked hard and respected the laws of this country, maintaining her legal status as a registered alien until she became an American citizen. To her credit, she raised me without any financial support from my father and gave me opportunities that my friends could only dream about. How many of them went to private Catholic schools, took ballet lessons or traveled to Europe to visit their grandparents? Not a one!
My Mom has had to endure a lot of hurts and hardships in her lifetime of 72 years. Every time she was knocked down, she got up and stood strong. She still believes that in spite of its problems, America is the best place on earth to live! In recent years she has been taking lessons, learning to play the piano, something she wanted to do when she was a child but never allowed to because of the family "curse".
Isn't she beautiful?
(For her 70th Birthday, in 2008 I had Omi & Opi's Wedding picture transferred to canvas and framed for her. She loved it!)
